Why I cannot buy pizza this week... the whole story.

So those of you that know me pretty well, probably know that I used to be known for not always remembering to have my keys with me when necessary. Well it has been almost 3 years and I have yet to have to call a locksmith (and I still have not had to, but I did have to get creative).

So really before I start, I just want to point out the fact that if someone on my staff had volunteered to work in the office today I would not even have to post this update... k... just wanted to point that out.

So I start my day today just great. Woke up rested and ready to take on the world. Weather is nice and sunny and I even thought I might have heard the birds chirping and what not (even though if I was any better shot with a BB gun we would never hear that overrated crap).

Anyway, so I go into the office early today. For those of you that are not married to Block, we open for support from 12 to 5pm on Sundays right now. So I went in to get some work done and open up the phone bank for my remote associates.

About 5 minutes before we were supposed to open I figured it was just as good a time as any to get a quick smoke in. So quickly I ran outside to take in the fall air and the wonderful pleasures of my Marlboro treat.

So I wander back inside the building and head down the hall to my office door. As I'm approaching I begin to realize the drama I was about to bring to life. My keys, both my phones, my wallet and my dog were locked inside the confines of my office. Although the deadbolt on the door was resting open, the push-button lock on the door knob was still locked in place. 'Well SHIT!' I thought to myself, 'This is going to suck major ass!'

I went through the office building, checking each floor for the possibility that the cleaning crew was working already, but no such luck. So here I am, 4 miles from the nearest phone, no other person in sight. The only two things I could think about were the fact that the phones were not open and my dog Millie was loose in the office looking for a way to break into the candy box on top of my desk. Millie may only stand about 10 inches high, but trust me, that dog is resourceful.

The next thought was that I could walk about 4 miles down the road (probably only 2 miles, but I tend to double anything that requires physical exertion) to a Hardy's and use their phone to call my assistant to come and let me in.

As I kept pondering that idea I figured 1 it would take me probably 30 minutes to get down there, and then I would find myself at Hardy's with no wallet. And you know I would want me some of those amazing cheese and bacon french fries. I know right, it doesn't sound that good, but trust me, it is an amazing combination of processed and fried food. So in an effort not to piss myself off more I opted against the journey to Hardy's.

The only thing left was to try and break back into the office. 'Sure Trevor, you can do that. It is just a 3 inch thick wooden interior door,' I thought to myself. Those are not secure or anything!

So you guessed it; try to picture a movie or TV show when the characters are trying to break down the door and they get a running start right!?! Then they bounce right off the door and fly backward. Well, that was kinda what my first attempt was like, but instead of hitting a wall I hit the doors to the building elevator. And just as a tip, the elevator will magically open if you slam yourself into the doors, you don't just have to push the call button... that's a FACT. ;-)

So after several attempts at breaking down the door by rushing it I figured out that was probably not the best solution. By this time I have my dog Millie barking frantically on the other side, as apparently she thought she was about to be robed.

After about 5 minutes of shoving and launching myself at the door I was finally able to break across the threshold. Picture myself flying across the reception area with the lock from the door already in flight in front of me.

Good news is I got in, and the deadbolt will still lock back the door to secure it from any crazy people that are trying to break into the office because they forgot their keys.

So now I just have to wait until Monday and explain to building management that we need a new door and lock installed, hence why I cannot buy any pizza for my associates this week due to the expense of replacing the door. Again, all we needed was for 1 of them to volunteer to work and this all could have been avoided. That's my story and I am sticking to it. ;-)

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